Tales from the Taxi

I don't have a car to drive during my visit to Singapore so I am forced to take cabs everywhere I want to go that isn't conveniently near an MRT station.  Every ride I take is a new adventure.   I'm about at my limit for taxis and am counting down the days until I don't have to take them anymore.  Here are some of the things I've experienced:

Not all taxis take credit cards.  
Plastic is the only way that I pay for anything in the US and if I ever have cash its never more than $20.  The other day the hotel called me a cab that only accepted cash, which I did not realize until I was on my way.  I only had $30 SGD in my wallet and the cab ride cost me $29 SGD.  Close one!  Now I insist on waiting until a cab that takes credit cards comes.

Not all taxi drivers know where they are going.  
Most of the drivers I get have no idea where my office is.  This baffles me because the entire country of Singapore is about the size of the inside Beltway 8 in Houston.  My hotel is 15 miles from the office at a very large manufacturing site for a major corporation yet they have no idea where it is.  The drivers often do not have a GPS or smartphone so they will want me to tell them how to get there.  I just want to scream "This is your island!! How do you not know?!?"  Thankfully I loaded some offline maps to my otherwise useless iPhone so I am able to give them directions if required.  It was the only thing that kept my $29 SGD taxi from being more than I could afford.

Cabs smell.  
I have been gifted (or maybe cursed) with a very sensitive sense of smell.  I can smell a smoker from a mile away, perfumes make me nauseous, and I can't sleep at night until I take a shower after being in a smokey bar, hibachi restaurant, or a stinky cab.  Smoking is prohibited inside cabs but that doesn't stop the cab driver from smoking outside and then getting in it to drive me somewhere.  The smell of the smoke was so bad this afternoon that I had to take a shower the second I got in the door because I thought I was going to lose my lunch.  It was some strange smoke, nothing illegal but certainly not Marlboro lights.  I've also become nauseous from the smell of the cab drivers pungent body odor but I'm pretty sure everyone would too.

Some drivers like to talk.  
Many drivers see an American get in their cab and want to hear all about you.  This doesn't usually bother me as long as I can understand what they are saying.  I got in one cab at night where the driver basically had a conversation with himself.  He was laughing and carrying on but I only understood a couple words so I just kept nodding my head and responding "mmmhmm, oh really."  He acted like an Asian version of Sloth from the Goonies (Hey, you guys!) and I was afraid it wasn't my hotel he was going to take me to.
Most drivers want to know where I am from and what I'm doing here but today's driver was particularly interesting.  He says to me "You engineer? You work at refinery?".  I respond "Yes, I'm an engineer" and he says to me "Oh, I thought only men work at refinery."  Thank you for taking me back to the 1970's, taxi driver.

The best way to get a cab is via the iPhone app.  
This is terrific when your iPhone is a glorified paperweight.  I've tried calling the cab company but that usually results in my waiting for 30 minutes on the phone only to find out that there are no cabs available.  When I have someone else book it for me on their phone it takes 2 minutes.  Now, the driver does look at me a little funny because they are expecting Mr. Liu, Toh, Koh, or Choo but at least I get my ride back to the hotel.

Three more days, I can make it....